My Christmas Carol
by She'sAManiac
Summary: Based on "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. Following the death of Dr Kelso, Perry Cox had become bitter, secluded and money-obsessed. Can the forces of the supernatural ghosts of Christmas past, present and future help him before it's too late?
1. Stave 1

**Note-So, it's the first of December, that merry time of year when Christmas comes around! To celebrate, I'm writing a Scrubs version of "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. Unlike "Her Romeo, His Juliet" I'm actually going to finish this one! If you don't know the story, don't worry. If you do, there'll be surprise cameos later. So huddle round the fire, and enjoy! (Disclaimer: Own nothing, but there's a list of things on my profile that would happen if I did own Scrubs!) **

Perry Cox sat in his office. His feet were up on the brand new mahogany desk, and he was leaning back in the brand new swivel chair. In fact, everything in this room was brand new. Ever since Kelso had bitten the dust a week ago, Perry had been appointed Chief of Medicine, and had gone on a massive spending spree with his ex-boss's pay. Even though the money mostly went to the new office, he was ok with it. He wanted every memory of Robert Kelso out of his hospital, from the framed painting in the lobby right down to the last pencil shaving. And now it was done, Perry laughed quietly to himself. The only thing bothering him was that someone was stealing medical supplies, but when Perry found out who it was they were gonna have their asses fired so fast…

There was a knock at the door, and Perry looked up to see JD's anxious face peeking in to the office.

"Um…hey, Dr Cox!" JD smiled, giving a little wave. He made his way into the office, and stood, looking around at the lavishly furnished office.

"Wow, this is nice, huh?" he asked. Perry glowered at him.

"What is it, Amy?" he asked. JD seemed almost frozen for a moment before he muttered something unintelligible.

"Speak up, Emily!"

"Why have you reduced my pay?" JD muttered. "I'm only getting like, 109 dollars a week, that's barely enough to feed my family"

Perry swung his legs off the desk, and leant forward towards JD. He could feel the exhilarating adrenaline of a rant coming on, and he took a deep breath before beginning the sarcastic retort that was sure to come.

"Well, gee, Newbie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, see, I was just getting round to buying, say, a new MRI machine, or another truckload of medical supplies, are you getting this, but see with all the sick people and whatnot costing my hospital a fortune I had to cut someone's pay, so hmm what to do, what to do, and I ended up on you, and you may ask why, Perry, why is it so unfair, but guess what, Flora, life is unfair! Get over it!"

"But, sir…why me?"

"Well the answer's plain and simple there, Nell!" said Perry, picking up a sports magazine and beginning to scan it. "You are an annoying, whiny girl-child"

JD made to turn, and for a moment Perry thought he was leaving. But then his ex-protégé turned back again.

"Oh, and Dr Cox?"

"What now, Newbie?"

"Can me and Elliot have tonight off? It's Christmas Eve"

Dr Cox looked up in angry surprise.

"No, Newbie, no, no, no, you may nawt, it's bad enough I have to let you have Christmas day off but…"

JD had left before Dr Cox even started his next rant. Perry chuckled to himself, and flipped to the results section of the sports magazine. Ooh, the Red Wings had won again! Nice addition to Christmas! He looked up at the gold-embellished clock on the desk. It was six fifty. In just ten minutes he would be off his shift, and Newbie and Barbie would be starting. The whole prospect made him grin…

Suddenly, there was another knock at his door. He threw down the sports magazine in frustration, and grunted.

"What?" he yelled. In came a scared looking Ted, accompanied by an even more scared looking Doug.

"Oh, lookie here, it's Flop Sweat and Pee-Pants!" groaned Perry. "What do you want?"

Ted held out a sheet of paper with shaking hands. Perry snatched it, and began to scan it hungrily.

"What the hell is this?" he growled.

"It's a list of charitable donations from workers of the hospital" Ted explained. "To help underprivileged people get sufficient healthcare"

"We were hoping you could sign…in time for Christmas" added Doug.

Perry screwed up the bit of paper and threw it in the wastepaper bin. Then he turned back to the two men.

"Nervous Guy, listen up and listen good. Christmas is a fraud! It's the over commercialised birthday of someone who didn't exist! There are free clinics all over the place, and if the "underprivileged" don't want to go there then they can die and decrease the surplus population, because they damn sure aren't coming into my hospital unless they can afford it! Go on, get outta here!"

Doug and Ted made to leave. But then Perry noticed something and whistled, and the two men turned back to him, expectant looks on their faces. Perry motioned to the petition in the trash.

"Go on, boy! Fetch!" he said in a low voice that was almost a whisper. Reluctantly, Doug picked the crumpled paper out of the basket, and went out with Ted, Dr Cox laughing behind them.

"Bah Humbug!" Perry snorted. "In time for Christmas…yeah right!"

He got up, grabbed his bag from the hook, and walked out of the office, locking it behind him. As he left the hospital he was thrown evil glares from Carla, Ghandi and Barbie, all of whom had shifts that night. But the look JD gave him was one of hurt, not anger. Dr Cox just ignored it, and got into his gloriously intern-polished Porsche, and began the drive home.

He arrived back at an empty apartment. Jordan, Jack and Jennifer had left yesterday. Jack's toys were still scattered about the floor and…no. Perry couldn't bear to think of his children. Instead, he poured himself a scotch. And then another. And another.

Suddenly he saw something out of the corner of his eye, and he jumped. The shadow on the wall had, momentarily, looked like Dr Kelso's face. Perry looked up at the clock. It the second hand was ticking round to midnight. Perry counted down the seconds. Five…four…three…two…one…zero!

The door to his apartment burst open, and Perry jumped in his seat. There before him stood a man. A man clad in various size chains that trailed on the floor. A man Perry recognised. Robert Kelso.

"Hey, how ya doin?" Kelso grinned.

"Well look if it isn't Big Bobbo!" said Perry. Kelso looked confused.

"What's the matter, Perry? No surprise? I'm dead! Or was it so insignificant that you've already forgotten?"

"It was, Bobcat, but that's not why I'm not surprised to see you. You see, I am blind drunk, so Elvis could come knocking at my chamber door and I wouldn't turn a blind eye. The only difference is that if it was The King himself, I'd ask for an autograph"

"Touching speech, Perry. Guess what, I'm here to help you"

"Well thanks for the offer, Bobbo, but I'm just peachy!" Perry smiled.

"Mmhmm!" mumbled Kelso, unconvinced, staring at the empty scotch bottle on the table that had been full only a few hours before. "Of course you are!"

"Look, Bob, what do you want?" Perry slurred.

"I'm just gonna cut to the chase, Perry. You see these?" said Kelso, and he lifted up the heavy chains that surrounded him.

"How could I miss them, Beezlebob?"

"These chains were forged by all the bad things I've done in life. Every sick person I shunned, every cafeteria worker I fired, every last patient I killed, each stupid sin becomes a manacle!"

"Well, shouldn't you be able to fix that? You know, you being Satan and all?"

"I appreciate your kindness, Perry, but guess what?" Kelso said with an evil grin. "Yours is even bigger than mine!"

"This is the face of a man not caring!"

"Oh, but you will care when your forced to work the Earth eternally with chains miles longer than mine as a ghost!"

Perry turned to his ex-boss, his confident smile rapidly fading.

"Why would you care anyway?"

"Because, Perry, I'm not always the heartless guy you think I was. But guess what, there's a chance of redemption. You will be visited by three spirits tonight, and…"

"Thanks for the warning, Bob, but I'm gonna take off" Perry interrupted, and he got up off the couch. "You see, I'm so drunk right now, and you're not real, no matter how much you try to scare me. Nighty night!"

And with that, Kelso was left in Perry's front room. He cursed quietly, and vanished.


	2. Stave 2

**Note-I'm uploading this chapter a day earlier because of a trip to France tomorrow (I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning...god). Thanks to all my luvely faithful reviewers! Enjoy!  
**

It was bang on the dot of one am when Perry woke, suddenly, with no explanation. He sat up in bed, and put his hand to his thumping head. The alcohol was making him hallucinate. He could see a bright light, burning into his head.

"Damn scotch…" he muttered. But then something clicked. Hang on a second. It wasn't his mind producing the light. The fierce glow was coming through the crack in the door, from the front room. Someone was in his apartment. Now very much awake, Perry swung his legs silently out of the bed, and reached out for a weapon, and ended up grabbing hold of the alarm clock. Oh well, it would have to do. He crept out through the room, and, brandishing the…ahem, alarm clock, he opened the door. The person on his couch turned to face him, and Perry dropped his weapon his surprise.

"C-Carla?!"

It was indeed Carla, complete with floral scrubs and her wide smile. Only, somehow it wasn't her. There seemed to be a bright light surrounding her, which was being violently omitted from a candle she was carrying. Perry blushed as he realised he was in his pyjamas in front of the person he used to like. She stood up off the couch, and faced him.

"Hey! I'm the ghost of Christmas past!"

Perry was taken aback, to say the least.

"You're the what now?"

"Didn't Kelso tell you about me?" Carla pouted. Perry just stared at her, calculating the facts of the last few hours in his brain. Maybe Kelso wasn't just a dream…

"Hello? Dr Cox!"

Perry snapped out of his thoughts to see Carla waving her hand in front of his face.

"What the hell is the time?" he mumbled to himself. "This is a dream…"

"Oh you did not just call me that!" said Carla, putting her hand on her hip and pointing at him. Perry almost laughed out loud. This whole thing was, quite frankly, absurd.

"I'm going back to bed…" he muttered, and turned away. But then he felt Carla's hand on his sleeve. And suddenly, the whole world went fuzzy and out of focus. Perry blinked hard, and suddenly he was standing in…a bedroom. A young bedroom. Posters of the Detroit Red Wings hung, curled and faded with age, on the walls, and clothes and toys were strung over the floor. A young boy sat at a desk, writing.

"What the…?" Perry muttered as Carla let go of his arm. "What just happened?"

"Oh my God! Is the supposed genius Dr Cox stumped?" exclaimed Carla in mock horror. "Don't you recognise this place?"

Perry was silent. He did recognise the room.

"It's mine…" he whispered. "That's me…"

Indeed it was. The little boy writing at the desk sported the beginnings of wild red curls and the hard jaw line of the older man. Perry turned back to Carla, with a questioning look on her face.

"Ghost of Christmas past, idiot!" she scoffed fondly, motioning to the boy's calendar. December 24th. "Don't worry, he can't hear you"

Slowly, nervously, Perry reached out and touched the boys shoulder, and a shiver of déjà vu ran through his body. He drew his hand back as if bitten. He could remember what was about to happen.

"Carla, let's go" he mumbled, looking back at the nurse. Carla shook her head. Perry sighed. And then it started. The floor started to shake as a door slammed downstairs and someone pounded up the stairs. Young Perry turned towards the door, terror etched into his expression. Then the door burst open.

It was like looking into a fairground mirror, Perry thought. The man standing in the doorway was like an older, fatter version of him, with wrinkles and a splash of grey in his blonde hair. Anger was smeared on his face. The man was Arthur Cox. Perry's dad.

Growling the same growl that was visible in his son, Arthur strode forward, right through Perry and Carla, and grabbed Young-Perry by the collar, hoisting him out of his chair. The next few minutes Perry shut his eyes tight as his father beat the crap of his younger self for the first time. Then Arthur dropped Young-Perry and stormed out. Presently a door slammed downstairs, and a young girl ran into the room.

"Paige…" muttered Perry as he stared at his little sister.

"Per-Per!" squeaked Paige. She knelt down to her brother's level, and started to dab at the cuts and bruises with some cotton wool. Perry squeezed his eyes shut, and then he felt Carla take his arm again. The room spun again, and Perry felt dizzy as he watched his young self and Paige slowly vanish in a whirl of colour.

Suddenly they were standing, again, in another room. It was a large hall, with white pasty walls. Decked across the room was a large banner that said "Happy Christmas Doctors!", and a buffet table was groaning with food in a corner. There as an open bar in another corner, and although there were speakers, the place was silent.

Perry gasped, and grinned. He knew this place as well. Just as he predicted, a group of people in scrubs came in.

"My med school…" Perry grinned.

"Happy Christmas, doctors!" yelled the older man at the front.

"It's Dr Fezziwig!" Perry smiled gleefully, like a child getting a bite of candy. He looked at Carla, but instead of sharing his excitement she just looked bored.

"Let the annual Christmas party begin!" Fezziwig yelled, and a blare of bad 80s music pumped out through the speakers. The group of young students cautiously began to dance. A young man with tight ginger curls sloped off to the open bar.

"Dr Fezziwig was great" Perry grinned. Carla yawned.

"Yeah, yeah. Could I speak to the normal Dr Cox for a couple minutes, thank you?"

By now the various people were dancing wildly around the hall, not really caring what they looked like. Student-Perry was dancing and trying to drink a beer at the same time. The alcohol slopped all over his top, but he didn't care. He was just having a good time. On the contrary, Perry had frozen to the spot when he saw who was strutting haughtily up to his younger self.

"Hey, curls, you got a pen?"

It was at that moment that Carla grabbed his arm again. Perry groaned, nausea kicking in as the room spun like JD in one of his Eagle moments. Then the ground felt solid again, and Perry was standing in his apartment.

"Magical mystery tour over already, Carla?" he asked. Carla shook her head sadly, and Perry turned back to the scene. His eyes clouded over.

"Carla…" he whispered. "Please…please don't make me watch this again"

It was all rather confusing. He was standing in his own apartment, watching himself only yesterday. Past-him was talking to Jordan. Jack was on the floor, playing with some massive Lego bricks, and Jennifer Dylan was gurgling contentedly in a corner. Perry groaned as he watched the scene replay in front of him.

"Perry! What the hell?" Jordan was saying. "I've spent all day trying to avoid the nanny and her new boob job! Suck it up and blow it out your ass!"

"I've been at the hospital, Jordan, you know that!"

"So that means you're too tired to put your son to bed?"

Perry listened as the fight of all fights broke out. Jack sat on the floor, staring blankly at his toys. Perry felt a rush of pain flow through his alcohol-soaked veins. He desperately wanted to pick his son up and hold him. If only he'd just put him to bed…

"All you care about now is that stupid hospital! You don't even give a crap about your kids…"

Jordan had threatened to leave many times before. But when Perry woke up from a drunken stupor on the couch, she was actually gone, and so were Jack and Jenny.

"You egotistical, arrogant jackass!"

Carla laid a gentle, caring hand on Perry's shoulder, and he anticipated the whirlwind that he was sure was to come. But instead, Past-him, Jordan and his children faded from view, and when he blinked, he was back in his present apartment.

"Carla…why did you do that?" Perry grunted, turning on the ghost. She shrugged.

"I'm the ghost of Christmas past. It's what I do" she said. Perry shook with rage. How dare she have the right to show him these things like he was just another guy on the road to hell (which, granted, he was, but it didn't really help his point).

"You…" he growled. He picked up the bottle of scotch on the table, and, not sure what else to do, threw the liquid at Carla. The effect was instantaneous. The candle in Carla's hand flicked out, her mouth screamed silently, and suddenly, as if in a gust of wind, she had vanished.

Terrified, Perry stumbled back into his room, muttering "Just a dream, just a cra-ha-hazy dream…", and fell into his bed, pulling the covers tight around him as if to protect himself. Then, straight away, he fell back into a deep sleep.


	3. Stave 3

**Note-Thanks to all my reviewers, and a shout out to BellsOfTomorrow for general niceness.**

It was with a jolt from a far too vivid dream that Perry woke for the second time that night. He drew himself up in bed, staring at the door, expecting to see a bright light and Carla saying "Oh no you didn't!" But instead, there was just peaceful silence. Writing off Carla's presence as a dream, Perry sighed, and laid back, ready to fall asleep again. But then the alarm clock beeped slightly, announcing the hour, and Perry reluctantly checked it. It was two am. Suddenly, there was a rather loud thumping noise that sounded almost muffled. Something must have fallen down in the lounge, Perry thought, and he got out of bed to investigate. He walked into the room, and for the second time that night nearly had a heart attack.

Turk was sitting on top of a mound of Christmas food, smiling down at him. He was wearing his green surgical scrubs, only they seemed to be fur-lined around the cuffs, and he was wearing a Santa hat.

"Yo, Dr Cox!" Turk yelled from atop the mountain. "Whassup?"

"Ghandi, what in my name are you doing in my apartment?"

"Haunting you" Turk said plainly, taking a bite out of a turkey leg.

"You're…what now?"

"You already met my wife" mumbled Turk through his food, licking his fingers. "So it's my turn. And we've only got about an hour so we better get going"

Perry groaned. It wasn't a damn dream after all. Turk reached out to take Perry's arm, but Perry drew it back as if he'd been burned.

"Who are you?"

"Ghost of Christmas Present. Now come on, hurry up, I haven't got all night!"

"Is the room gonna go all fuzzy like it did last time?" asked Perry suspiciously. "Because I have recently consumed a large amount of alcohol"

"No" said Turk impatiently "Past spins. Present flies! Now let's go!"

And before Perry had any more time to stall, Turk had grabbed his arm, and in a whoosh of air, he was flying. It was an amazing feeling, he felt like he was floating on invisible water. The window magically opened, and the two flew out, higher and higher into the night air. The wind was cold and stinging against Perry's mortal cheeks, and when he looked down, he could see the whole city, from his apartment to the hospital. The hospital seemed to getting closer, and he realised, with a start, that they were about to crash into the wall. He shielded his face as the window drew closer, until they were about to crash into it…

But there was no sound of breaking glass, no streaks of pain. When Perry opened his eyes, they were standing in the middle of the Doctor's lounge, and the window was whole. Perry breathed a sigh of relief.

"What are we doing here, Ghandi?"

Turk didn't answer, only motioned to Perry to follow him. He did, and they walked through the door out into the corridor. They passed the nurse's station, and Perry was shocked to see the same amount of nurses there as there would be any day.

"How come there are so many staff on-call tonight?" he wondered aloud.

"You wouldn't let any of them have a night off" Turk replied simply. Out of the corner of his eye, Perry saw Carla suppress a yawn. He followed Turk into a patient's room, where Keith was checking up on a young woman. Perry peered over Keith's shoulder at the chart, and winced.

"Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis…" he muttered. "Boy, she's not having much luck this Christmas!"

"None of these people are" Turk said. "Mr Byrne three doors down has cancer. This is a hospital, dude, people are sick, even if you're too wound up in your office to notice it! I just hope the Lord God will help them"

Perry scoffed. "There is no God!"

"And when they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy…" Turk muttered quietly. Then Perry felt a light sensation in his head, and suddenly they were standing in an apartment.

"Where are we…?" Perry mumbled. Then he heard a click of a key in a lock and muffled voices, and he turned toward the door. It opened, and JD and Elliot entered the apartment.

"God, I hope he's ok!" JD said, making his way over to a door on Perry's left.

"I can't believe we had to work a double shift on Christmas!" Elliot said, hanging up her coat before following her husband. Perry winced at her words. Turk motioned to follow them, and Perry resisted for a moment before obliging.

The first thing that struck him about the room, oddly enough, was the wallpaper. It was a powdery sky blue which reminded him of a pair of scrubs, and covered with little ducks. There were toys and clothes scattered all over the floor, a few pieces of furniture, and a small bed in the corner, which JD and Elliot were kneeling by. A small boy lay in the bed, his face pale.

"Is that Sam?" Perry muttered bitterly. Turk nodded.

"You ok, buddy?" JD said quietly, stroking his son's hair. Sam stirred in his sleep, and coughed violently.

"He's got pneumonia" Perry realised suddenly. "I never knew…"

"Well, why would you?" Turk replied. "Every time Vanilla-Bear tries to tell you, you ignore him"

Elliot knelt down beside JD, and took her bag off her shoulder. She unzipped it, and emptied the contents onto the floor. Out fell syringes and bottles of Tylenol.

"_They're_ the ones stealing the medical supplies?" Dr Cox said, aghast. "But…why? This kid obviously needs medical attention!"

"There are free clinics all over the place, right? If the underprivileged don't want to go there than they can die because they damn well aren't coming into your hospital unless they can afford it, right?" retorted Turk instantly, irony lacing his sentence.

"That's ridiculous; of course they can afford it"

"No they can't!" Turk almost shouted in frustration. "And you know why? Because you docked their pay!"

Elliot gently pushed the needle into Sam's arm and injected him. Perry realised that her face was streaked was watery mascara. Newbie was trying to hold his tears in too, but failing, and he dashed the sleeve of his scrubs across his face. With a start, Perry realised that his eyes were watering too. He blinked the small droplets of water away, but not before Turk saw them.

"Let's go, Ghandi" he said gruffly.

"Wait" said Turk. "There's just one more thing"

Reluctantly, Perry turned back to the scene. Elliot was reaching inside her bag, and was pulling out greasy looking paper parcels and drink cans and placing them on the floor. JD took one of the parcels and opened it. It was a hamburger. He took a bite, and Perry could see him suppress a grimace.

"The classic Christmas meal" he said sarcastically. "A Turkey and stuffing burger from the Food Court"

"It was all we could do on such short notice" said Elliot. "If stupid Dr Cox hadn't made us work Christmas Eve, I could've done something really nice!"

"Don't say that, Elliot. Dr Cox is a good guy, really"

Elliot scoffed.

"Yeah, that's why we're stealing medical supplies from under his nose! You're only defending him because you're still hoping for that hug!"

"I will get that hug…" JD muttered. Perry laughed.

"The kid's loyal" he said to himself.

JD picked up a can of Coke, and opened it.

"I toast him" he said simply. Elliot was, quite obviously dumbfounded, and if Perry was honest with himself, he was too.

"What?" he and Elliot said at the same time.

"He's our boss, whether we like it or not. Now, I've seen him at his worst, but I've seen him at his best too. And things can only get better. So a toast to Perry Cox, my boss, my friend, my mentor!"

Elliot shook her head as JD drunk Perry's health. She moved slightly so that she was lying in her husband's lap. It was an almost beautiful scene, with the pair cuddling and Sam lying in the bed. Perry was transfixed, and barely noticed Turk holding his arm. In fact, he only realised they were moving when they seemed to shrink into nothingness.

He and Turk landed in a deserted street. Perry looked around him, and was astonished to see that there were no lights. All the lights in the buildings were off, there were no streetlights and there were no cars. Perry looked up at the sky, and even that was black and faded, as if it had been blotted over with ink.

"Where in hell are we, Turtle-Head?" he said, his head still in a twelve-o-clock motion. But when he turned back to Turk, he nearly jumped out of his pyjamas. Turk had suddenly aged dramatically; he looked almost a hundred. His face was set with deep wrinkles, and his eyes seemed hollow. But strangest of all was that there seemed to be something underneath his surgeon scrubs top. Something that looked oddly like a…

"Is that a hand?" Perry said, terror beginning to set in. Turk soundlessly reached under his scrubs top, and pulled out something in a bundle of rags. The bundle squirmed as Turk set it down on the pavement, and he then proceeded to bring out another bundle, which he carefully laid next to the other one.

"What are they?" whispered Perry, his voice hoarse. The bundles were stirring, and they gradually sat up, like zombies, and the rags fell away to reveal two faces that Perry recognised, faces that struck terror into his heart.

"Jack? Jenny?" he whispered.

His children were pale and skinny like Sam had been, and they huddled round Turk like animals.

"The boy is ignorance, and the girl is want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased!"

Turk let out a screeching moan, and Perry shielded himself from the man. And when he opened his eyes, Turk and the children had vanished, and all that remained on the floor were a pair of green scrubs with fur lining.

Then there was a movement, and Perry looked up, in fear. Something black was moving in the distance, shuffling ever closer slowly. Something shrouded in a long black cloak.

Something coming for him.


	4. Stave 4

**Note-Ok, I know some of the stuff in this chapter doesn't happen in the original, but what the frick.**

The black figure slowly drew up to Perry, who was shivering in fear. It seemed to be clad completely in a black cloak, covered from head to toe. Even the face seemed to be covered by the hood, and as hard as Perry strained his eyes, he couldn't see the face within.

"So" swallowed Perry, trying to remain brave and composed. "I assume that you pathetic excuse for a Halloween costume is the Ghost of Christmas Future? Who are you, Ted?"

The thing shook its head slowly.

_I should do something _Perry thought. _This could get awkward. Maybe if I had ninja skills…dammit, Newbie's rubbing off on me! Ah, to hell with it!_

And with that, he growled, raised his hand, and ripped off the spirit's hood. Then, seeing the face, he took a few shocked steps backwards.

"You…" he whispered hoarsely.

"Hey! You're not meant to do that!" said the Janitor, snatching back the hood.

"What the hell are you doing, Jumpsuit?" snarled Perry. Carla and Turk were bad enough, but this was almost becoming a bit of a joke. Kelso really had it in for him.

"I'm your ghost. But ok, let's make a deal" said the Janitor. "The whole talking thing isn't part of my job description, so let's just pretend this never happened"

"Works for me, Lurch" said Perry wearily, wondering when the whole stupid ordeal was going to be over. The Janitor pulled the hood back over his head, and nodded slowly. Perry sighed, and rolled his eyes. This was gonna be a long night.

"Where too first then?" he asked, bored. Janitor pointed slowly, and Perry turned to look behind him. Then he blinked. Hard. The dismal, dark street that should have been behind him had turned into a room. The nurse's station, to be exact. Perry turned back to the ghost, and saw that behind him was the same room. The Janitor urged him forward to a group of doctors huddled by the coffee machine. Perry recognised Dr Zeltzer, but none of the others.

"It'll be a very cheap funeral" remarked one of the doctors, sipping his coffee. "I don't know anyone who's going"

"I'll only go if there are prostitutes" remarked Dr Zeltzer monotonously.

"I doubt that…although maybe the Sully gals will turn up" said one of the doctors.

"I doubt that even more!" said Zeltzer. The others laughed, and nodded in agreement. Then a sound of pagers went off, and the doctors scattered.

"Who's funeral's that, then?" Perry casually asked the Janitor. But the black-clad man only beckoned. Perry followed him down a flight of stairs, where a young couple stood, talking happily to each other. Not doctors: they weren't in Scrubs or lab coats, so they must have been patients.

"It's fantastic now he's not on our backs anymore!" said the young woman, as Janitor and Dr Cox passed them.

"A death to celebrate…" said the man, and he kissed the woman. But by this time Perry and his ghost were almost out of earshot. Perry turned back to in front of him, and saw that they had stopped by a door. It was the morgue.

"What, have we come to visit Pee-Pants? Highlight of my night" Perry muttered scornfully. The Janitor didn't answer. Perry sighed. By now he was getting irritated. None of his remarks invoked any reaction from his ghost. The Janitor simply glided through the door. After a few startled minutes, Perry followed. Instead of connecting with hard plaster and wood, like he'd expected, there was a tingly sensation that wasn't unpleasant. And then he was standing in the morgue. Doug was sitting on a table, sucking a cherry sucker.

"Oh come on…" Perry muttered. But then the door behind him opened, and two people came in. It was Todd and Ted.

"Hey, guys!" said Doug.

"How's your penis?" grinned Todd. Ted just nodded sombrely.

"Did you get them?" he asked. Perry could see the beads of nervous sweat breaking out on his forehead.

"Where's Nurse Roberts?" Doug butted in.

"Wouldn't come" replied Ted impatiently. "Said it was against her faith. Now do you have them or not?"

Course I do!" said Doug. "They're right here!" He walked over to a table, and picked up a ragged black bag, which he dumped in front of his visitors. He then proceeded to attack the lollipop again as Ted and Todd began to rummage through the sack. Ted pulled out a watch and grinned widely.

"Wow! His watch!" he smiled. He held it up to the light, and then against his wrist. "A Rolex! Sweet!"

"Hey, dude!" said Todd. "Hamburger five!" He'd pulled out a limp looking burger from the bag, and took a large bite out of it.

"Todd, that's disgusting!" said Doug. "That's been in the morgue! I've got nicer stuff in here!"

"Are you sure this is legal?" Ted asked, still admiring the Rolex.

"You're the lawyer, you tell me" said Doug, shrugging. "I've got some nice clothes if you want them. They're less costy than that watch"

"I don't care!" said Ted. "Now he's gone I can afford it!"

"Who's gonna take his place?" asked Doug.

"No idea" Ted shrugged. "They were thinking of Dr Dorian until they checked his attendance"

Todd had, until then, been eating the burger, but now he looked up, mayonnaise dribbling down his chin. "My attendance in the bedroom is always high! Playa Five!" he said. Nobody obliged him, and he slowly lowered his arm, embarrassed at being ignored.

"How much do I owe you?" Ted asked.

"Bout a hundred for the watch. But if you like I'll through in a nice expensive pen for nothing. And Todd's gonna have to pay for that burger"

Ted foraged in his pocket, pulled out a scruffy dollar note, and handed it to Doug. Doug handed him a shiny pen, and Ted and Todd turned to leave.

Perry was shocked.

"Selling off a dead man's belongings. That's sick!"

The Janitor didn't respond.

"Can we go somewhere where there's some…tenderness associated with death?"

Janitor turned back to the door, and opened it. Instead of the stairs going up to the hospital, there was a room. A room full of light that he recognised. Sure enough JD was sitting on the couch. Elliot came into the room, crying quietly, and JD looked at her, dazed.

"JD…I'm so sorry, but…he's gone…" Elliot sniffed, her voice an amazingly high pitch, but still trying to keep things together. JD seemed frozen, but then nodded acceptingly.

"At least he went peacefully" he said.

"No…" Perry muttered. "No…"

He ran into the next door bedroom, and thrust back the covers that had been laid body-bag style. Sam Dorian looked peaceful, like he'd just gone to sleep and hadn't woken up. Perry just stood, aghast, staring at the still body of the five-year old. When he turned, the Janitor was standing behind him. Elliot and JD came into the room.

"Oh look, his covers fell off" said JD, trying to distract himself. He neatly folded the covers over Sam again, and then stood silently, watching the bundle. After a few, painful minutes he spoke: "He was a good kid"

"It's just pneumonia, it's curable! Dammit, Newbie!" Perry yelled. He kicked at the bedside table, but his leg just went through it. He yelled out in anger and frustration. Why wasn't JD doing the same? Then he felt an ice cold hand on his shoulder, and he started. The Janitor had a firm grip on him, and then there was a lurching sensation in Perry's stomach as they seemed to fall through the floor. Perry shut his eyes, expecting a crash. But when he opened them, he was standing in a green field, adorned with trees. But it wasn't just a field.

It was a graveyard.

"Oh no…" Perry muttered. "This doesn't look good"

The Janitor led him through rows and rows of stone plaques. As they walked Perry read them. He noticed that the names of people that died changed through the ages. Betsy and Janet became Frankie and Lola, and Harold and Charles became Spencer and Ben…Ben?

With a glance, Perry realised that the Janitor had stopped by Ben Sullivan's grave.

"Now, that's just not fair" he scolded, feeling the familiar clogging in his throat he got when his friend was mentioned. But the Janitor shook his head, and pointed to the grave next to it. It was the last in the line of stones, and the grass around it was freshly cut. But what chilled Perry right to the core of his heart was the inscription.

_Here lies Dr. Perry Cox. Died of liver failure. 1961-2008._

"Wait…that's my grave?" Perry asked the Janitor. "No…No words of solace? No kindness? Just a name and a date? All those people earlier…they were talking about me? I'm the hated man whose death people celebrate?"

Storm clouds seemed to be gathering over the cemetery. The Janitor stood motionless.

"Spirit!" Perry found himself yelling. "Tell me I can wipe away the writing on this stone!"

Then the ground seemed to move underneath him, and the Earth split underneath his feet. The gravestone cracked and tore in half, and when Perry turned, still unsteady, he saw that the coffin was visible through the ripped ground. Another tremour made him fall forwards, and he crashed into the coffin. The wood splintered and cracked, and then he was lying face-to-face with his corpse. Then the coffin fell down, down through the ground, and Perry shut his eyes tight and waited for the impact.


	5. Stave 5

**Note-So, so sorry I couldn't upload this before! I had to leave before I got a chance! But here it is…a week late! Oh well, enjoy!**

"Woah!"

Perry woke up with a start. He was drenched with sweat, his covers were twisted around him like a straightjacket and he was breathing heavily. He looked around him in a swift glance. Light flooded the room from the window. It was morning.

Perry got up, and flung open the window. Well, at least he would have if it had been unlocked, so instead he ended up slapping his hands against the glass pane, and he swore to himself. After a few minutes of fumbling with a lock, he pushed the window out, and looked outside. There was no snow, but the cold hit him instantly, and he shivered. He could taste the crispness of the morning air. The street outside was busy with people bustling to and fro, and he could hear the faint jangling of bells in the distance.

Then he saw someone he recognised. Keith was walking down the sidewalk, hands in his pockets, puffs of steam coming out from between his lips as he breathed.

"Dudemeister!" Perry yelled. He gained a few startled, odd looks from passers by, but Keith stopped, looked up, and started at the person calling him.

"D-Dr Cox! I mean…Chief Dr Cox!" he corrected himself.

"What day is it?" Perry asked. Keith's face turned to an expression of surprise and confusion.

"December 25th…" he mumbled unsurely.

"Christmas Day…" Perry muttered to himself, and he laughed. "Those goddamn spirits did it all in one goddamn night!"

Keith had begun to walk off again, but stopped when Perry called him back.

"Now you listen up, Dudemeister, and you listen good!" Perry called down. "I want you to go to the nearest Wall-Mart and get me the biggest, fattest stuffed Turkey they have, and bring it back here, you got that? Here's my wallet, I don't care how much you spend!"

He grabbed the wallet from his bedside table, and chucked it down. It landed on the sidewalk with a dull, leathery thud, and Keith scrambled to pick it up. Then he ran off. He returned in a few minutes, dragging behind him the largest bird Perry had ever seen.

"Good stuff, Dudemeister!" Perry grinned. "Now, I want you to take it to Barbie and Cindy's house; don't tell them who it's from! Take five dollars for yourself as well"

Keith nodded, took some money from the wallet, shoved the leather case through Perry's letterbox and walked off sullenly. Sure, Perry thought to himself, it was mean to send him to his ex-fiancée and her new husband's house, but hey, people don't become perfect overnight, right?

Suddenly, there was a knock at his door. Perry pulled on a dressing gown, and hurried to the front door of his apartment. When he opened it, he was amazed to see Doug and Ted standing at his door. They were dressed like human snowmen, in brightly coloured Dr Who-type scarves and woolly hats adorned with pom-poms. They were holding flyers for the charity that he had been collecting for the day before.

"D-Dr Cox!" Doug stuttered. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise this was your apartment…"

But before he had time to stutter another word, Perry had grabbed the clipboard and pen out of Ted's gloved hands, and was scrawling his name in one of the boxes. Then he silently handed it back to his employee. Doug stared at the writing in pure astonishment.

"A hundred dollars?" he said, barely keeping the squeak out of his voice. He turned back to his boss in horror. Perry just nodded.

"Get outta here, Nervous Guy. Go give those people what they need. And if anyone finds out about this you'll end up the patient side of the morgue" he said softly. Doug laughed (nervously), and hastily walked off with the lawyer in tow. Perry laughed quietly to himself.

The next morning, Perry was sitting in his office, writing out forms for a new load of hypodermic needles. He needed them. He was going to be opening up a new ward soon. A couple of new wards.

There was a tentative knock at his door, and JD nervously crept round into the room.

"You paged me, Dr Cox?" he asked quietly.

"I sure did, Newbie" said Perry, not looking up from his paperwork. "You're late"

"Sorry, Sir. I was rather making merry last night" said JD with an anxious laugh.

"I'm not gonna stand for this type of behaviour, Belle. So…I'm gonna go ahead and raise your salary"

Only then did Dr Cox look up at his protégé. Newbie was, quite obviously, shell-shocked. He stood, rigid, not sure what to do.

"I'm sorry, what now?"

"I'm gonna raise your salary, Newbie. And Blondie's"

JD smiled. It was the same, goofy, naïve, innocent smile that he'd had since he was an intern, the smile that had gradually faded and been lost in the past week. And Perry only realised then that it was the smile he missed.

"Thank you, Dr…"

"No trouble, Newbie. Now get outta here!"

JD turned to leave, but then Dr Cox remembered something.

"Hey, Belinda!"

JD turned back to his mentor.

"If you wanna bring your son in for a check up…I could get a bed in paediatrics"

JD looked down at his feet, ashamed looking.

"How did you know?" he muttered. Dr Cox smiled wryly.

"Word gets around" he said simply, quietly. "Oh, and before you diagnose another hypochondriac, make sure Carla knows about the new wards I'll be opening this week"

JD nodded, and hurried out of the room. Through the doorway, Perry caught a glimpse of Carla, Turk and the Janitor, talking together in a little huddle. He blinked, hard. Carla turned, and waved briefly before turning back to her conversation. Then the door swung shut, blocking his view again.

**Note-Thanks to my lovely reviewers! I hope you all had nice Christmases! Due to **

**-ahem- popular demand (well, it won on my poll!), my next story will be an angsty JDox. Wish me luck…**


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